A few weeks ago, we had to lay 3 people off due to budget cuts. Can you imagine being middle-aged, thinking everything is just fine and then being laid off? These people have mortgages, car payments, kids, bills..that has to suck sooo bad.

And then just last week, someone came in to change his medical benefits. He was getting divorced after 20 some odd years of marriage. I just broke up with a girl after 5 years of dating and I think it’s bad, think about that guy! 55 and single? I mean they spend half their lives learning about each other. Talk about a bad investment.

And lastly, on the news a few nights ago was a local couple who were killed on their motorcycle.. (Probably by some old palm beach lady who couldn’t see over the hood of her Cadillac.)

All 3 stories have been occupying my thoughts the last few days.

In general, life can flip you over and ass fuck you outta no where. You have to be prepared and be able to roll with it. If you lose your job, you should have a few months saved up to get you by. I don’t really know how I feel about the second story quite yet. I think it might go something like- don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Everyone gets divorced these days and stats show you will too. And as far as dying on a motorcycle..well if that happened to me, I just hope that I had an awesome life. I would be pissed if I spent 20 years in school just to die.

Time is the most important thing we have. You think the divorced guy or the motorcycle people give a fuck about money? (I mean the couple is dead but ya know). Money in the bank, fancy clothes in the closet, prada bags, rolexs and Jags don’t mean shit. All the dead people have is the time they had on the earth. Hopefully they enjoyed it.

Although I’m upset that things didn’t work out with my ex, I do see some positives. For one, it could have been 20 years instead of 5 and secondly, it gives me the absolute freedom to go out and do whatever the fuck I want.

As my friend mike reminded me, I’ve had two girlfriends since I was 10. Since noticing my penis, I’ve literally never been single. So now, I can actually see what its like.

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When I opened my mail the other day, I assumed that this 2010 census envelope contained the new census survey. But boy was I wrong. What I found, was a complete waste of my tax money. A FU%KING PRE CENSUS LETTER.

I can just see you reading this, saying, “Phil Tyler, What on earth is a pre-census letter?”

Well, take a look- (click the scanned letter)

2010 census pre survey letter

All it does is tell me that the actual census is on it’s way. Fuck you Robert M. Groves.
Complete BS Right?! I know! Can you even fathom how much money and man-power this took to send out?!

Half a century ago, advertising was easy. You advertised on the radio. Then came TV. Then huge billboards on sides of the road, and now were getting ads on our cell phones.

The average person encounters more than 1000 advertisements through out a day and although companies know this, they still continue to hit us with everything they got.

But people have learned to block them out. After walking through times square you might not be able to remember a single flashing sign. And after a few commercials, you can recall what you saw.

The future is marketing to people based on what they want to see. Remember when Tom Cruise was walking through that mall in Vanilla Sky? All the billboards showed him what they knew he liked. And yes, companies have already made these. They are merely getting perfected at the moment.

But alongside the auto changing mall billboards, 80% of companies should only focus their marketing and advertising online (with exceptions of course).

Now that everyone is online, consumers are looking for information. They don’t care about pop ups and banners. The goal for companies is to be the first result displayed when someone searches for products/services you sell. The first google result gets like 95% of the clicks.

So, to sum it up, consumers now LOOK for info and you need to be in their search results.

I don’t know if they operate in other states, but here in Florida we have this company called who can I sue, or whocanisue.

Most people first noticed them on billboards.

Photo by Mark Randall, Sun Sentinel

I remember the first day I saw the billboard, I thought it was a joke. But sadly, it’s real. Notice how the word “Any” is underlined.  Subtly telling you that you can sue someone for ANYTHING. Ugh, soooo messed up.

Who can I sue is an referral service more or less. If you want to sue someone, they connect you with a lawyer…which isn’t a bad idea, I’ll admit…but like most people, I have a problem with the name. “Who Can I sue?” just sounds like you’re looking for money…which brings me to the commercial-

The above picture was taken from their television commercial. Look how this hot nurse is pushing an old geezer to his BENTLEY.  This is bullshit. I can’t express my anger and disappointment with people, no I mean shitheads, that sue to get rich. I have no problem with getting the money you rightfully deserve, but breaking your leg and driving home (how is this possible with a broken leg?)  in a car that you bought with the money is fucking shit. Fuck this guy.

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Face it, as catchy as their music is, the Black Eyed Peas are complete sellouts.

When an artist makes music to make money, they have sold out which is just what the Black Eyed Peas did with the “i gotta feelin tonights gonna be a good night” song.

I’m not going to say “goal”, but nothing is better for an artist when it comes to commercials and brands using your song for their products.  It makes you TONS of money. But you are a scumbag when you make a song just for marketers to pick it up.

Target, Oprah, DirecTV all have picked up that song for their advertisements (nothing against them)…but it makes me shake my finger at B.E.P.

I gotta feelin that they made the song for that specific purpose.

If you even thought about turning on the news in the past week, you would only hear one topic- everyone is mad with Obama..he’s doing a bad job..etc..

I told everyone this a year ago, HE IS NOT JESUS. He is just a man doing the hardest fucking job you could possibly imagine.

Everyone thought that by making him president, all things would be candy and sunshine. If he was a dictator, ya maybe he could get everything done, just by saying so. But that’s not how it works. He is only one big gear in the machine that is the government.

He is doing the best job he can..you can’t please everyone and most of the time it’s the rest of those fat cat dicks that are making it tough.

Polls say that no one is happy with him and another poll says half of Americans are fat dumb slobs.