Just after the New Year, everyone is on this health kick. But avoid all those pills and diets and follow these simple steps to lose 10 pounds over a month, with nothing to buy and no crazy ass diets.

1. No soda. I don’t drink it. EVER. You shouldn’t either. Don’t even drink the diet ones.

2. Stop taking the f-in elevator. Take the stairs.

3. No fast food. If you’re going to get the salads, check the dressings and calorie count.

4. Drink one glass of water before each meal. You will eat less.

5. Eat 4 or even 5 times a day. Smaller portions of course.

6. Little or no refined sugar. No candy or treats! Get your sugars from fruits and juices.

7. No alcohol. WHOA?! I know right? This one is tough and I personally can’t do it, but if you did you’d be sooo healthy!

Follow these easy steps. You won’t see any difference for a while, but keep it up and by the end you’ll be 10 or more pounds lighter!

Not many people would debate the statement that the war on drugs in the U.S. is a complete bust. Fortunately for everyone, I am here with a solution.

Decriminalize and tax them.

I’ll give you a scenario. A guy gets busted for smoking pot on his porch. The cop should toss out his joint and write him a $75 dollar ticket. There are actually a few towns that now do this..sooooo smart!!

This would eliminate all the court dates, paperwork, criminal records and in some cases, over-flowing jails full of non- violent people.

Each drug and amount would have a different fine and in each case, the drugs would get confiscated- getting them off the street.

The government would make sooo much money!

Thoughts?

I was watching TV the other day when I turned to my girlfriend and asked, “Why do we bury dead people?”

This caught her completely off guard as we were  halfway through the best TV show EVER (America’s Funniest Home Videos).  “Huh?” She said.  So I asked her, “At what point in evolution, whether cultural or plain old monkey to human evolution, did people, from all walks of life, all cultures and races, bury their dead?

She thought about it for a second and said that it was most likely to cover up the smelly grossness. (Those weren’t her words, but I think its cute when girls talk like that).  So I started to think about it and here are my thoughts.

There came a time in history when people were smart enough to solve problems and also wanted to improve their environments.

I know that sounds silly, but you have to realize that other animals don’t bury there dead and Chimps (our closet relatives) don’t bury their dead.  There was a time when cavemen died next to other cavemen and he’s like “uuhhhh oh well” and lastly there was a time when a caveman didn’t poop next to his bed all for the simple reason that he wanted to start living better.

Ok so transport yourself back to this time in history.

Someone dies. What happens? It smells, attracts big hungry animals and is overall just nasty.

So what do you do? You bury the body!!

So it was that time in history, a looooooong time ago that people started burying the dead. They most likely dug holes where ever they wanted. This happened for a while until someone accidentally dug up a skull while trying to plant a tomato bush and decided that from then on there should be some sort of marker..lets call it a GRAVE MARKER.

So there were graves all over and one day someone said, “lets put them all in one place because our village looks like crap, and we’ll call it a Grave Yard” (or cemetery if they were really snooty).

Ok so now there were all these bodies in one central place, grave markers and all. Grave markers (tombstones) became ever more elaborate, even to the point where whole pyramids were made to honor that dead person.

So to sum it up, I think, we bury the dead because of this suuuuuppper long tradition of covering up nasty, smelling, animal attracting mess.

What do you think?